The Diary of Anne Frank

I need to get some writing done.

Sat, 16 Sep 2006 20:44:37 GMT

Hi readers,

I need some advice, I just got done deleting Maggie from everything in my digital life which is at this time our only mode of conversation or way that I can know anything about her. I've convinced myself that I don't care and I'm done, knowing that I'm only on the run from the well of feelings that washes through me whenever I get in a rut about everything and start feeling bad for myself. I think this is a good thing and I'll let time divide to reach out to her when the pain has subsided. This is going on 4 months now this has been like this and I'm still stuck in the muck unable to grow as a person. I want to write this EP and show everyone what I have. I have a lot coming in the future and I hope it's better than the past which I thought was the top. I will probably write in this more now than ever because I like it and this typing will be here forever to look back upon.

Have a great day, Colin

Yadda Yadda

Sun, 10 Sep 2006 06:50:35 GMT

Hi.

I played a show tonight for the very first time and I had a wonderful time. My friends were there and people clapped and we didn't screw up too much and it was awesome. I think the band will take a small break now that we've had practice for like 5 days straight now and we're all a little burnt out. I don't know why but I felt like I wanted to update this tonight probably because I haven't in an extreme amount of time and I have things in my head. A lot of stuff in my life should bring me down and make me not a very productive person but I seem to overcome it, it's always been like that which makes me really glad that I can. Whenever shit with my family happens or the shit that happened more recently happened I can usually just go out and have a good time and even talk about it without having it bring me down. Man did I get my heart torn out, the more I think about it, the more shittily I realize she did everything. I really don't want to be whinny and I really want to be completely over her and forget her name so fucking terribly bad. I've been on a mission for awhile to be outgoing in meeting new people and to clear up shitty relationships where I don't talk to the other person and we never have a conversation but they're around and we both know eachother. I really only genuinly dislike about a handful of people and I like to think for good reason but even that I wish I could clear up even though I probably couldn't with at least one of them because she's to stubborn and has a gigantic ego. This journal entry is really only for me and I can't imagine anyone wanting to read these thoughts coming out of my head in no pattern or structure. I can't wait to play more shows, that will be some good times. meeting girls is quite alright and I hope to put myself out there as much as possible and hope to come out of this better off than her but from what I'm hearing and witnessing that would be hard at all. Getting little kids drunk, that's fucking low, haha. If you read through this whole thing and you're not the girl I'm hankering to then I commend you and you must really care about me, thanks.

Love, Colin

1..2..Begin.

Sat, 17 Jun 2006 04:20:12 GMT

To Whomever it may concern,

Well, today/yesterday marks the end of me and hopefully the begining of me. If you would like to be apart of my new life then I'm waiting with open arms, I realize now the way I have been and the actions I did that were completely wrong. I can only hope that there are people out there that will "take me under their wing" I know there are people out there that I only need to give a chance to and I plan on doing just that. please help me.

Yours Truely,

Colin Geoffrey Blumer

.

Wed, 07 Jun 2006 19:36:32 GMT

It's a wierd feeling to be despised by people for no apparent reason.

Mon, 22 May 2006 23:36:15 GMT

Man I am out of sorts, in every aspect of this thing I dredge along in called my life. The best thing that ever happened to me, I fully believe it is, has come to an indefinite end and it's demise isn't within my power. All of my conclusions regarding the reasoning behind this happening are entirely speculation. It's like I have a rough sketch of the inside of her head and her feelings, some lines are definite and others are quite unclear. She wants to be "free", that statement really gets to me because if she sees being in our relationship as un-free or being chained-down then she's better off without me. She tells me that I didn't do anything to bring these feelings about but there has to be something because we were on the way up (I thought) after being on a break for a week and then one afternoon something clicks in her head and she decides that she's better off without me. As of right now I want to be with her very badly and I want to work to make things better than they've ever been but she doesn't allow us seeing each other outside of the default times at school. I try to break this down and wrap it around my head to her but whenever I do she always tells me that I'm wrong with my thinking, always my interpretation is wrong.

This fallen relationship was the biggest piece in the puzzle of my life, now I feel so wrong and so fucking lonely. Before, I didn't have many friends and had a lot of time to myself but now it's beyond that even. I now contemplate open-enrolling to a different high school for senior year and the choice is mine. Being single has been a failure so far, I don't know what to do or how to do anything, I was completely dependent on her love and always, always looked forward to every chance I had with her and loved just knowing I had this powerful link with another person.

My time of being the pathetic boyfriend that just rolls with her feelings is ending soon, she wants things outside of me and possibly another person. I would be more than willing to give her time for bonding with her friends, I know she really wants a best friend again and I want her to have one just as bad as I want her back. I can't be sad everyday for much longer without something happening, positive or negative, the monotony of having a breakdown every night must end.

I'm lost without her, so fucking lost.

Tue, 04 Apr 2006 17:25:09 GMT

Comparative Religions court case research links.

One

Two

Three

Done.

Sun, 05 Mar 2006 06:54:57 GMT

Hello, I don't really know who reads this, possibly no one. Oh well.

For lent, I am infact, an anti-theist but this is more of a challenge for myself rather than some thing to show off to a person that doesn't exist:

I'm going to try and be a vegan for 40 days. I think I won't have that big of problems while trying to do this but I may. I don't know why I'm writing in this about this but maybe someone will read it and give me tips or approval or dissapproval.

Well, I can hope and wonder, but after tonight, being ditched by people I thought were my friends I do have my doubts that anyone cares about this silly thing.

-Colin

My Life as of late.

Tue, 22 Nov 2005 02:23:13 GMT

I'm not ususally the one to complain about or even realize things are shitty in my life. But, as of late it is hard to not dwell on what has started to happen.

I do not want to come accross to anyone as a whiner and I really hope I'm not overthinking things when really everything is fine, maybe it's just things have happened and people have been busy or forgot to give me a call or really care when it seems to me like they don't. I'm not ruling this out, maybe it's a rut I and the people I know are in.

I hate the feeling of being unwanted or being the "odd man out".

What I'm hoping for by writing this is that someone will see it and care to tell me something I didn't know and maybe new friends will form, I'm completely open-minded at this point.

-Colin

Mon, 07 Nov 2005 21:01:47 GMT

Dude,

Wed, 19 Oct 2005 02:55:19 GMT

I am leaving on an airplane tomorrow morning to fly to Florida to be lame. If the following conditions are met, I may have a good time. Hurricane whatever doesn't swallow wherever we're going, my foot magically heals and I can surf freely as I pleased. My hotel room is full of ipod nano's, A4's and money, and finally, when I get there Maggie and whoever else that would like to come appears in my hotel bed.

Well, I have a slim shot at being happy while in Florida, we'll see, broken foot and all.

Some bi-sexual kid messages me tonight on myspace and said "to bad ure straight." I don't usually get attention from other girls so this was very exciting for me! To bad he was a he. But, it's not like I need or want attention from other girls anyway. I had a good laugh from that message and I thought you might also.

I must conclude packing my bag now, I hope you (the reader) have fun doing whatever you do over the long weekend. Ian is damn lucky to go to Chicago with a bunch of joos, that will be a riot for sure.

-Colin

p.s. I went out on a miniture date with my lady friend tonight and it was a good time, FYI.

Man it has been awhile...

Sat, 15 Oct 2005 06:07:30 GMT

Well hello to whoever reads this.

It has been more than a grippe of time since I last typed my thoughts into this livejournal I have. For whichever reason I felt tonight that I should type a little whatever into it. I think it helps my writing maybe? I think I enjoy just writing down my thoughts right out of my head, I can't really put my finger on my exactly but it does. I also like to type things out of my head without looking at a pre-written piece of paper, I dislike that. I think the point of a journal is to have a way to keep your thoughts and feelings for the future to look back on and admire your state of mind at that time.

I'm just letting you know that if you don't really care about me all to much then you should probably stop reading this right now because It end to ramble about really nothing and that is what the rest of this entry is going to be, there is no doubt.

This girl I know named Margaret? She's pretty rad and nice to me and I like her but why do you care if you're not Maggie? You probably don't. My insperation for writing this is probably coming from listening to the Death cab DVD, it is A+ by the way. I just got off the phone with a friend of mine and we set the situation straight after a misunderstanding earlier tonight. I am glad about that.

I think I may write in this more than I have been. But for now, I am tapped already, maybe int he future my entries will try to reach enlightenment and maybe you will learn a thing or two from them. Oh yeah, my foot hurts real bad and I can't walk, lame.

-Colin

Photo

Sun, 11 Sep 2005 06:30:31 GMT

http://www.dwcnetwork.com/north45/adphoto1.jpg
I ask you nicely to view the link above. We did a photoshoot for this ad I had an idea for in my head and it turned out pretty rad.

Sat, 02 Jul 2005 05:34:35 GMT

ANDY IS COMING TO TOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In 48 hours from now I will be within feet of him, hooray. We're going to have shit-tons of fun I suppose and the 4th of July should be a time even though I don't know whats happening yet.

P.s. mike jones.

Jackie's biography

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 03:34:58 GMT

Dear Jackie,

Stop throwing yourself all over every guy in tight pants who is in a band.
No one likes you showing your boobies all over the place. They're gross.
Saying things like "OMG MATT WEBSTER IS CALLING ME" doesn't gain you points. (side note: there are plenty of us who ARE friends with him. and phones have this thing called call history... way to be a name dropper, and a liar)
No one cares if you have 85,643,765 MySpace friends.
Stop talking about famous bands like you are friends with them. Attempting to grope them after a show does not make you on a first-name basis.
The reason most guys in bands talk to girls like you is because, and i quote a band member... "they dont know that most bands just talk to them cause they are whores and they'll do anything.. and we all have penises."
Half the people you talk to are at least 6 years older than you and realize that you are a young, naive, scenester wannabe slut. No matter how much make-up you wear, how many piercings you have, or how many band t-shirts you own, that's not what makes you mature.
You're annoying. Please stop it and die.

Love,
Jackie

hahahahah I sure got a kick out of that, and I hope all of you do also. It might be possible that no one has described their faults better than jackie has here. I actually love reading this because I laugh a lot and because I couldn't say it better.

Still laughing, Colin.

Mar-Gar

Wed, 25 May 2005 20:53:25 GMT

Hey, look at us, I am on a quest to find a good picture of myself smiling because I really have completely lost the ability to be anywhere close to photogenic. Maggie is it. I am quite very glad these pictures were even able to be taken. She pretty much made me make this entry but I have no objections. I don't know what i'm writing and I have nothing else to type, good day.

I guess theres...

Sat, 07 May 2005 20:11:40 GMT

a "dance" party at my house tonight, my room is a mess and I just got home from 2 lacrosse games which we won, 'twas a time. I got an assist for CARLOS the MADMAN to slam that baby home, rad on Carlos. I guess people are dressing up all crazy for this thing and I really am not taking it seriously I guess, ohhhhhhh well, we'll see what goes down. I'll more than likely hide outside in the hot tub and wait for the ladies to accompany me, woop. Well, if you read this before the time this thing starts at 7 and you'd like to come, your more than welcome because I dislike "invitation" only parties, lame they are. Well, I need to clean the room i'm sitting in now and prepare myself for the night ahead. GOODBYE.

Music Music Music

Mon, 02 May 2005 03:52:27 GMT

Okay, the purpose of this journal update is for whoever you are reading this to comment and tell me a few bands or records by bands I should download and in turn, put onto my ipod. I have grips of space and 17.91 gigs left on my ipod. Any and all music will be taken into account and your donation to the music suggestions will be greatly appreciated by me. Thank you up and down.

Enlightenment

Sat, 09 Apr 2005 05:38:51 GMT

Alright people, big changes are on their ways I do believe. I think a lot, maybe it's why I'm so quite most of the time, I think things through real deeply and such, a lot. From all of this I have successfully concluded that when I moved here (to maple grove) I become an introvert, my entire life until I moved here I was a very outgoing and class-clownish and extrovert-like. For whatever reason I completely changed when I moved here and it's been about a year and a half since I've been here. I've convinced myself that I am depressed and have been for awhile, that may be true but it could just be my changed lifestyle of sort. I don't do much self-reflection because I haven't needed to, I was always happy until now.

The good news is that I think I can change this, or at least I hope I can, I need to talk to more people and be more outgoing with my life. Lunch today at school, for some reason was a though prevoking time. I think there are people around me that would like to be my friend or would like to know more at all or more than they do already, maybe wishful thinking, maybe not. I just need to act happy to be happy I think. I hate feeling down, everyone feels down but I've felt that way like 2/3's of my life recently and it's far from fun.

The down side of this is I may need to cut my ties with someone I care about the most of all. I need to because they bring me negative feelings mostly even though I care about them the most, which sucks. But, it isn't all that bad because it's not like we could have a healthy relationship like I wish we could. What I'm trying to get at is I think I need change real bad and I need to make more bonds with people I value.

If you read my whole rant than good job on your part and thanks for caring.

Thu, 24 Mar 2005 03:49:54 GMT

My name is Colin, and I am friends with Ali Witt, Jackie Anderson, Alex Bible, and Andy Hart.

Why is it that I believe in this love after it's gone

Tue, 15 Mar 2005 23:52:43 GMT

I was looking for some motivation and material to create a new entry in this journal and i've found it.

Maggie and I cannot see one another ever agian outside of the prison we both attend ever agian, we were already going downhill because of the lack of seeing one another.

None of you understand what I went through with her, a part of me believes I loved and love her and the other part believes that I wasted so much of my life. I don't know which part of me I believe. All I know is I will never have those very few times we shared back agian. I will miss her more than I can imagine in my head right now, I can't talk to her much and I can't hug her or kiss her because that just brings back the feelings I have that I can't have because of her parents. All of this stems from Maggie's parents. Maybe I'll just keep her phone number around and call her when she's out of highschool and then we can fall madly in love and live happily ever after, that doesn't sound that far out to me so there must be something there.

Highschool is a crockpot of emotions for everyone and everyone is hooking up and getting there hearts broken over and over agian and trying to find themselves and who they are and what they want. Call me emo, I don't fucking care. I learned something about myself today while I was thinking to myself the entire day about Maggie and how much she matters to me and how it's all over, I cannot do anything sexual with a girl I don't love. Maybe thats a good thing, maybe I need to learn to not be this way, I don't know. This is a fucking fact and all of those people that think I smoke pot every day and fuck every girl I meet is far from right.

I tried to avoid Maggie today after she told me what happened because I can't even look at her when I need to stop loving her, everything brings back feelings and memories I wish I could have but can't. None of this would be happening if her parents weren't the way they are. I'm just asking for half-way normal, stern sometimes and other times lenient.

I've asked myself many times why I chose her and not anyone else and I can't come up with an answer, she's made me so sad and so mad so many times and I stay with it still. I never have gotten enough time and expieriences with her, ever, but I kept at it and for whichever reason thought things would work out and believed the bullshit she fed me about us being able to be together soon.

Well, I guess that enough, I could go on forever about this, feeling sorry for her and myself and our piece of shit story and how it's ended. She will be gone this spring break, I think I'm happy for the first time ever that she's going to be gone, I'm going to try my best to have as much fun as I can and I'm sorry to say it but "forget" about her as much as I can because I have to, not because I want to.

Goodbye, Maggie

Sat, 05 Feb 2005 17:49:55 GMT

Oh yes, that day is going to be good.

A poll for you.

Fri, 21 Jan 2005 03:17:12 GMT

View Poll: The is a poll.

Hey you.

Fri, 14 Jan 2005 22:51:37 GMT

hello

I'm a .45 caliber killer. yes I am. I think I'm about to try and get into a fucking gay ass rating community. Hahaha, not many things make me more mad than those bitches. They said yes or no to maggie joining and said no to her a bunch and I went through all of their shit and they're all so fucking ugly. How could those people be grading other people and how are they in that suave, populars group? THOSE BITCHES!!!!!

Alright, I need to stop cursing because it's bad for me and stuff.

Tonight I'm probaly going to do nothing because maggie is doing something somewhere.

Well I'll see you later on.

Tue, 11 Jan 2005 22:36:56 GMT

mmmmm, my name is jacqueline elise anderson & i am typing in colin's livejournal. AMEN!

Wed, 05 Jan 2005 05:58:53 GMT

..the regulars..

name: Colin Geoffrey Blumer, is it wierd that I don't really know how to spell my middle name?
gender: male it is
age: 15
hair color: dark
braces: nope
glasses or contacts: NONE NIGGERS!!!

..favorite..

soda: bawls or bacardi coke
candy: sour things
dinner food: spaghetti or cold canadian bacon and pinneapple pizza from papa john's
breakfast food: cold canadian bacon and pinneapple pizza from papa john's
gum: orbit
toothpaste: how do you judge your favorite toothpaste?
alcoholic beverage: A casmopolitan with a twist in a petite martini glass, hahaha.
situation: girls, haha. I get into a lot of situations and they're all just grand!
vacation spot: fiji
movie: Band of Brothers, Saving Private Ryan, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Donnie Darno, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Requem for a Dream, Exposure, The future 45 North production, Star Wars, Office Space, Scream, Pulp Fiction, Crossroads haaha, Vacation, Caddyshack, Casablanca, Mallrats, Fight Club, Goonies, PeeWee's big adventure, Airplane, Resevoir dogs, South Park the movie, Spaceballs, There's something about Mary, The nightmare before Christmas, Tommy Boy, Billy MAdison, Happy Gilmore, Big Daddy, Night at the Roxbury, Toy story, Goodfellas, Scarface, American Pie's and wedding, Fast Times at Ridgemount High, Austin Powers', Ferris Bueller's Day off, Gladiator, Ground Hog Day, Fridays, Ronin, Heat, Thin Red line, Dazed and Confused, The wall, The longest day, The Wedding Singer, Ghosterbusters, Willy wonka and the chocolate factory, seven, ghosts of mars, dawn of the dead, 28 days later, full metal jacket, sleepy hollow, big.
radio station: radio sucks, but drive 105 is it.
band: motion city soundtrack, A thorn for every heart, Adelphi, Aesop Rock, Alkaline Trio, Anadivine, Atmosphere, Barry White, Bayside, Billy Talent, Blink 182, Bloodhound Gang, Boxcar Racer, Brand New, Brazil, Bright Eyes, Caesar's Palace, CKY, Cake, Cauterize, Chronic Future, Coheed, Copeland, Daphne Loves Derby, Dashboard, Death Cab, Don't look down, the doors, early november, elliot smith, Fallout Boy, Finch, Foo Fighters, Franz, From Autumn to ashes, from first to last, frou four, green day, Hawthorne, Hellogoodbye, Hidden in plain view, HIM, Homegrown, Hot hot heat, I can make a mess like nobody's business, Ima robot, Incubus, Jedi Mind Tricks, jimi hendrix, jimmy eat world, junction 18, june, kut u up, led zepplin, letterkills, limbeck, Mae, Mashlin, Master P, Matchbook, Men Without Hats, Midtown, Modest Mouse, My American Heart, My chemical romance, nirvana, northstar, oasis, obie trice, The Offspring, Outerspace, Penfold, Pink fucking floyd, The prodigy, radiohead, rage, red hot chilli peppers, rise against, rufio, RX bandits, Saosin, saves the day, senses fail, silverstein, soco, sparta, spitalfield, the starting line, stephen lynch, steriogram, story of the year, straylight run, sublime, swollen members, tbs, tenacious d, the academy is, the ataris, the beautiful mistake, the get up kids, the postal service, the shins, the used, this could be forever, thrice, thursday, waef, weezer, yeah yeah yeahs.
book: give me a good book to read.
song: one of the 1800 or so I have, my favorite accident maybe?
concert that you've been to: warped tour for quantity and the sub-par pop-punk who cares tour 2005 for quality, soon to be epitaph show.

..friends..

first best friend: alexander the great
funniest: me, hahahahaahahah I'm so funny, I think it would have to be Andy Har
most serious: alex these days, HOLY SHIT MAN!
loudest: Beth fucking Giesen
current best (same sex): my snowskate and my computer and some dudes
current best (opposite sex): those girls.
shyest: nobody, I crack their shyness like THAT!
best looking (same sex): Alex seems to be reeling in the ladies these days. And andy because of his tight butthole.
best looking (opposite sex): The girl from the OC because we're friends.
smartest: Ali witt, wait, we're not friends.
dumbest: the 2 people that created this "survey", what are they surveying?

..last..

boy you hugged: Jarred
girl you hugged: mag
boy you kissed: almost alex on new years
girl you kissed: mag
boy you saw naked: ben hartman, mmmm.
girl you saw naked: the jackies
boy who saw you naked: Jesus!
girl who saw you naked: mag
person you got in a fight with: jackie/parents
person you cried over: thats a secret
word said: you
curse word said: fucker
question answered: "would you like some ice cream?"
song you heard: Story of the Year for some reason-Dive Right In
book you read: Catcher
time you showered: the wonderful morning of today
thing you ate: ice cream
thing you drank: water
thing you purchased: ipod
cigarette you had: sometime I was an idiot.
time smoked somethine else: I'm sXe, DUUUUHHHH!
time you drank alcohol: I'm sXe, DUUUHHHHH!!!
chore you did: ass sitting on, it's gotta be done.
time you drove: erica's car in the summer, lame.